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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25978525">Papercut Bliss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvinyls/pseuds/pinkvinyls'>pinkvinyls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Anakin Skywalker, But less a warrior and more a mad scientist, Codependency, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Top Obi-Wan Kenobi, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:06:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25978525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvinyls/pseuds/pinkvinyls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And now here Anakin stands with his feet drenched in the mud, stranded under the heavy rainfall of this remote and strange planet, lost in the white light of its twin moons. Here he stands in front of the gate leading him to a feast, half starved and famished, eager and greedy to fill himself with something that will only leave him with a much stronger hunger, with a need cut sharp and fevered with its despair. And he comes not as a guest, but an uninvited intruder, an abandoned dog howling and begging at the door to be let in so it can return home. </p><p>Or, Obi-Wan has left the Order and Anakin can't help but follow after him, no matter how much he suffers for it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>162</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Papercut Bliss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So after a long and stressful day at work, I wrote whatever this is instead of sleeping while going through a Mood™️</p><p>Sad and horny is a pretty good descrition, I think. </p><p>Enjoy and let me know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>At some point, you have to let go of the people who left you behind. You need to accept that they will never come back. You have to come to the realisation that you can live without them. At some point, refusing to do so is only proof of your own stupidity. Well, Anakin freely admits to being stupid enough to fail at any of those. He knows he is being unreasonable, emotional and painfully pathetic, but what can he do? It’s out of his control. He wants what he wants, he’s been past the point of denial for too long to claim otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wants his Master back and he’ll have him in whatever form he comes, sane or mad, good or evil, Jedi or Sith, what does it matter? It did, in the beginning, but now his resistance, his anger, he has become weary of them, worn down by the constant ache of having lost someone precious, by his longing for the one missing piece in his life. It has even driven Padme away from him, but what drove her away has only pushed him further into his Master's arms and made him receptive to his games. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now here Anakin stands with his feet drenched in the mud, stranded under the heavy rainfall of this remote and strange planet, lost in the white light of its twin moons. Here he stands in front of the gate leading him to a feast, half starved and famished, eager and greedy to fill himself with something that will only leave him with a much stronger hunger, with a need cut sharp and fevered with its despair. And he comes not as a guest, but an uninvited intruder, an abandoned dog howling and begging at the door to be let in so it can return home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he raises his arm to ring the doorbell, his movement is slowed and dragged, heavy with the weight of water seeping into his robes. He quickly withdraws his hand and pulls his outer robe tighter around himself, fingers buried in the thick fabric. Soon the rain reaches the skin beneath his clothes and he shivers where he stands, the coldness bites at his body and chisels at his mind, weakening him and making him vulnerable against a strong sense of vertigo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door, wood and steel, opens slowly, almost gracefully were it not for the creaking and rusty hinges. A narrow and dark corridor spreads out until it’s left in utter darkness, cut short and hidden away. The only light comes from a small lamp at the door frame, its fire flickering with the wind that rushes past him into the hideout, moving so heretically that it must be afraid of being extinguished only to be relit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without wasting another second and putting himself at any more risk of dying a painful death of pneumonia, he hurries inside and immediately shakes off his outer robe, it falls to the ground with a wet splat. His shivering begins to grow worse as the coldness clings to him, refusing to give him rest. Its grip on him is so strong that he nearly misses the silhouette of a moving body, drifting from one room to the other, never staying at one place for too long.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Anakin is not granted the privilege of seeing him, he will simply close his eyes and focus on the reverberations of the Force, hear its whispers, feel its caresses and let it guide him to where the Force has always beckoned him, right to his Master’s side, even if he won’t have him anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he takes a step forward only to stop in his tracks and look down at himself. He sees nothing but a filthy vagabond who has crawled out of the gutter, dirt and mud still stain his legs and his hands, when he stares at them, at the new calluses, the familiar scars, the sharp bones sticking out from under skin and flesh that have grown thinner with neglect, he feels he has become a hopeless case. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, Anakin will have to make due with what little he can offer, now that he is homeless, alone and with nothing to his name. He carries on his way to his Master, hand on his chest, palming his racing heart to hold it back from pushing out of his body, and leaves behind a trail of mud and rain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room he seeks has its door wide open, still he comes to rest at the threshold, leaning against the wooden frame as he peers into the room, eyes gliding over each corner, each wall, each thing, no matter how small, and he does so with a tender focus. His face grows dismayed as his guarded gaze finally settles on the familiar back of his Master. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shuts his eyes close then and swallows back the urge to move closer. Oh, Force, how long has it been since he has had the chance to taste the sense of safety and comfort that comes to him whenever he leans against that back? It’s too painful to think about, because with each memory comes the inevitable and damning knowledge that it has always been him to withdraw first, to reject each attempt at reconciliation, it stings so much that it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, an acidic bile that he cannot simply swallow down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A brief touch, just a brush of shoulder against shoulder, is all that it takes to bring him back to the present and open his eyes to his new and old reality and find nothing but an abandoned room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, he thinks that there must be worse things than to be unwanted, there has to be, even if it is becoming harder and harder for him to bear the silence, the distance, the apathy his Master regards him with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But as he stares at the empty space where his Master sat just seconds ago, he feels that ache, a gnawing void in his chest that grows and grows and grows until there is nothing else left. He wants to slice into his skin and rip his ribcage open and tear it out of him and he wants to leave it whole and let it fester and infest every inch of his body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the end, he buries his face in his hands and tries to breathe through the pain, knowing that the day his Master will take him back will come again, it always does, just as it comes to pass as well. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the third day since he has come to his Master’s new lair, three long days of utter silence, of only catching glimpses of silhouettes, shadows and fume. What used to be bright and translucent has become obscure and dim, his Master was a lighthouse in the Force, but now he’s this dark, dulled thing, it has become worse than ever before and Anakin can’t make any sense of it. Is this what the dark side does to a man? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master has become more obsessed than ever, he’s always bending over scrolls and scriptures and holocrons, researching some secret of the Force, doing experiments that shake the whole hideout, it scares him, he's afraid of what his Master might create in his madness, he’s afraid that he might lose even more of his Master to it, if there is even anything left to lose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And while he worries himself sick, Anakin is caught in a frozen limbo between taking care of his Master’s neglected needs and fighting the urge to destroy whatever progress he has made and shaking him until sense comes back to his Master, but the sure futility of that action holds him back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now he busies himself with menial tasks, accompanied by nothing but monotone silence and an ache deep in his chest. He cleans, he cooks, he rebuilds the outdated heating system, he repairs the plumbing in the ‘fresher, he does whatever makes him use his hands and helps him empty his brimming mind, while he is waiting and he is always waiting, isn’t he? Maybe his Master has finally succeeded in teaching him patience, he thinks with a bitter smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master and Anakin have both become silent inhabitants of this forsaken place, living not side by side, but separate and disconnected at every turn. Just two ghosts haunting the same house, unable to bridge the distance between them, unwilling too it seems, at least on his Master’s part. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when he suddenly hears his name being called out from his Master's lab, he freezes where he stands and the instruments in his hands fall to the ground. Without wasting another second, he hurries out of the kitchen and runs straight to his Master, afraid that his mind is only playing tricks on him and desperate for it to be true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin all but storms inside the lab, almost breaking the door out of its hinges, and comes to an abrupt halt. He should have felt it before, should have felt the Force sing with it before he had the chance to enter the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Life seems to have returned to his Master, he shines with it, more alive than he has seen him for weeks and there’s a triumphant glee in his eyes that fills Anakin with a sense of fear and anticipation alike.  Has he finally returned to him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anakin,” his Master says with a smug smile, his voice a low drawl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seeing his Master’s lips form his name, hearing his voice say it and feeling his eyes on him after spending each day here pleading and praying to be seen and noticed, it leaves him crippled and paralysed, unable to reply, to move. He’s struck still, at the mercy of whatever has taken hold of his Master. But the fear, it doesn’t matter, whatever his Master has decided to make of him, Anakin will take it, he will take anything, after having received even less than nothing, he’ll gladly accept whatever crumbs his Master throws his way for as long as he’s allowed to have it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” he says, a careful and hesitant whisper, barely above a breath, afraid of ruining this before it could even start. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have something to celebrate,” his Master exclaims, clasping his hands together as he takes a step towards him, but not close enough that any touch could be possible. “But first, could you do me a favour and draw me a bath? My work has been quite strenuous on my body. “</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin swallows audibly and averts his eyes. “Of course,” he replies and waits a moment, hoping to hear more of his Master’s voice, but when nothing else comes, he turns around and leaves the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’s barely past the threshold, his Master adds: “You may join me.” And with just these words, Anakin feels his heart try to beat out of his chest. Before he leaves for good, he turns his head to the side, only so much that he should be able to look upon his Master’s face from the corners of his eyes, and sees nothing but his Master’s back. Anakin bites the inside of his mouth to keep the pathetic sob building in his throat from moving up and slipping out between his lips and quickly leaves. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A dense fog rises from the warm water that he has filled the bath with, it hits his face whenever he bends over the large tub, warming the skin of his face, and it casts the dark room in an even duller light, only the few but large candles he has lit shine bright enough to clear the room enough for him to be able to see past his own body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kneeling down next to the bath, Anakin dips his finger into the water to test the temperature again. When he’s satisfied, he leans his head against the cold, smooth surface of the tub, staring at nothing at all as he glides his hand across the water, waiting for his Master to arrive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The longer he is made to wait, the more anxious he becomes. Doubt knows how to worm its way into his head and it has reached every recess, every little hidden corner, not at all mindful of the frail state his mind has fallen to. He shuts his eyes close, furrowing his brows so strongly that his forehead begins to ache with it, but he can’t bring himself to relax, he’s as tense as ever. Anakin shuffles as close as he can to the tub and lowers his head into the warm water to bring relief to his constant ache. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When his lungs begin to burn for air, footsteps echo through the room, the sound of it is dulled by the water around his ears, so he immediately rises from the water and sharply turns around towards the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master strolls inside, the ends of his thin and loosely tied bathrobe flare up with each one of his steps and when he reaches the bathtub, he ties the robe open and lets it fall to the ground. Anakin can only stare, wide-eyed, his gaze is held hostage, he’s a willing captive in the face of his Master’s beauty. Whatever inch of skin is revealed to him, he devours it all, not at all satiated with what is offered to him, he will always want more. More than his Master is willing to give him, more than he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>capable </span>
  </em>
  <span>of giving him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, Force, he’s left breathless and the longer he stares, the closer death seems to come to him, winding its arm around his body and claiming him for itself, but the few precious moments before death can have him, they set his life alight and burn away the gnawing void in his chest. Oh, Anakin thinks as he watches him step into the water and slowly sit down, his Master will be the death of him and his salvation alike, he will kill him and bring him back to life brighter than ever before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin rests his head on the tub and moves his hand close to his mouth, biting into his skin as he looks his Master in the face, without daring to blink, for fear that he would be gone the moment he opened his eyes again, he doesn't mind the stinging pain either, not now when his empty stomach is finally being fed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The corners of his Master’s lips quirk up and form a relaxed smile. “You are so good to me, my dear Anakin,” he says, voice deceptively gentle and soft, but the bright gleam in his eyes tells a different story. He stretches his arm out to him and palms Anakin's face, caressing his skin with his thumb. “You’ve been very patient with me and you looked after me so well, my boy, don’t think I didn’t notice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin closes his eyes and leans against the hand that holds his face so tenderly. His throat constricts painfully and tears well at his eyes, sliding down his face not a moment later. His Master brushes them away and beckons him closer, moving his hand down to his neck to pull him over to him and Anakin lets himself be led without any form of resistance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When only a few inches separate their faces, Anakin puts his arm on the other side of the bathtub and holds onto it, its edge digs into his ribcage, but he’s numb to the pain. This close to him, Anakin can see the bags and dark circles under his Master’s gleaming eyes. They have both been so restless, sleepless night after sleepless night, they have been turning over and over again, starved and hungry. If only their desires could be met, but while Anakin wants nothing but his love, his Master wants knowledge, to uncover every secret of this universe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin moves closer and brings their foreheads together. At least his Master understands his agony, his hunger is just as insatiable and his desires are just as unattainable as his after all. They are both only allowed a sliver, a taste so weak it barely lasts a second on their tongues, washed away by salvia, by the desperation of their own need. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master runs his hand through Anakin's hair and grabs him by it, dragging him away a few inches, before he loosens his hold and starts to play with the short hair on his nape. “Do you ever struggle to breathe?” he whispers, each word sharp and poignant. “Are you ever able to relax the overbearing tension? Is there ever any relief? Or are you bearing it all? Keeping it all in your vacuum of a body and letting it fester and grow wherever it finds a place to retreat, until it substitutes every cell of yours?“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin tries to draw away, but his Master’s hold on his hair is painfully tight and he doesn’t relent, no matter how much he pushes and pulls against it, his Master refuses to let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You feed on your void to become even less, to become nothing. It's the only thing you let yourself consume anymore. The only way you know how to keep down your hunger is to devour yourself. But tell me, Anakin, how much of you will be left, when I am done with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cruelty of his words robs him of his air and he hitches on his breath as he is forced to look into his Master’s eyes, as raw as an open wound still oozing blood and all that his Master does is to pry his wound further open with his fingers and dig where it hurts the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have been watching you squirm in my hold while you wait for me to return to you, I heard you howl at my doorstep, I felt your despair in the Force, it draws tight around you, it tries to shield you, but you lay yourself so open for me, it can’t protect you anymore, nothing can. I think I could do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>I want to you now and you’d welcome it, just so you could have me by your side. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin shuts his eyes close and purses his quivering lips, letting his arm fall from the edge into the warm water. He bites the inside of his mouth and wishes he were less desperate, less pathetic, then he wouldn’t feel the flare of heat in his loins. He must be cursed, there has to be a defect somewhere in his head that explains his sickness.    </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No matter how many times I leave you, you always come crawling back to me,” his Master says softly and with these cutting words, he pulls him closer and clashes their lips together, hands moving south to pull off his thin, sleeveless robe from his body and leave him nude.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hairs on his body rise as shivers run over his skin, not from the usual cold of the hideout, the fog is still keeping the room warm, but from sick anticipation and he knows from experience that only quiet obedience will allow him to receive what he has been hungering after for weeks, only his silence will buy him more time with his Master. Instead of fighting, instead of defending himself against his Master’s cruel taunts, he deepens the kiss and sits up to move into the bath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he delves into the water, its waves wash against the edge and hit the ground as a wet splash. No matter how large the tub is, it still forces his body to be pressed tightly against his Master’s. Lips against lips, chest to chest and legs intertwined, they begin to merge, the heat of the water melts their skin away, until even their flesh is touching and they can only move in tandem, the disconnect is finally erased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master takes his lower lip into his mouth and sucks on it, only letting go once he has bitten down on it. Anakin licks the stinging wound left behind and tastes copper on his tongue, growing thirsty for even any resemblance to his Master’s touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master lowers his head and glides his tongue across his neck, sucking and biting at his skin there, leaving trails wherever he moves to. And with each bite and kiss, Anakin loses a bit more of himself to it, uncaring for the many sounds falling from his lips. His master slithers his hands lower and grabs at his ass, pulling his cheeks apart so that his fingertips can flick against his twitching hole. He circles it, never drawing close enough to risk a breach, instead he presses against his perineum, almost deep enough for it to hurt, and distracts him from the pain by suckling on his nipple and rubbing and twisting the other one between his fingers, until both fill with blood and become sensitive to the slightest brush of touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are so mendable under my hands, I can mold you into any form I desire, make of you whatever I wish you to be at the moment and you’ll bend and break with it just to please me,” his Master hisses against his chest, biting down hard on his nipple before drawing away and pulling him into another heated, sloppy kiss just as one of  fingers finally breaches his rim and moves against the warm, tight walls of his hole, bigger and wider than he expected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin wraps his arms around his Master’s neck and clings to him with everything he has, his fingers press into the flesh of his shoulders as he plays his Master's words again and again in his head, a mindless chant that adds oil to the fire burning away his void and hones his desire, his need into a sharp blade that cuts into him from the inside out. He keens with the pain, an exquisite and enticing sensation that makes the pleasure of having his Master’s lips against his, of feeling his hands roam over his body that much more delectable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin licks into his mouth and darts up slightly when his Master adds a second finger, scissoring them inside him to widen his tight hole. Now that the kiss is broken off, he can finally gaze upon his Master’s face, lips swollen to a shiny red and eyes burning as bright as the sun at its zenith. He withdraws his arm from around his neck and brushes his Master’s hair back before touching their foreheads together and saying: “I fought against you for so long, I fought </span>
  <em>
    <span>for </span>
  </em>
  <span>you and now I lay in your arms, defeated and at your mercy.” He closes his eyes and whispers: “You left me, again and again you leave me behind and push me away, but please, this time, just give me what I need, don’t tease me, don’t play me, just give yourself to me, even if it’s just for a night. Please, let me have you. Let me pretend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a benevolent smile, his Master pushes another finger into him and begins to slowly move in and out of him, never once breaking off their eye contact. His thrusts are too slow and shallow to scratch that inch, if anything, it only works to worsen his torment. He wants, no, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs </span>
  </em>
  <span>more and knowing this, his Master has once again decided to test him, to force him to his limits and deny him his every wish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master wants to see him break and Anakin thinks that he has already been broken and remade so often, so why not let it happen again? In the end, what’s one wound more, if he is already made up of scar tissue? It won’t be noticeable, it won’t stand out and most importantly, it will belong to his Master and stay with him for far longer than he ever will. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Under his Master’s wicked ministrations, his cock begins to fill with blood, its tip weeping precum that glides down into the water and when he tries to grab it to bring relief to himself, his Master swats his hand away and locks his arms behind his back, forcing him to balance on his aching knees alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master pulls Anakin closer and makes him fall over him, so that they are chest to chest and his head rests on his Master's shoulder. He lets go of Anakin’s arms and grabs him by his neck, his grip painfully tight as his fingers dig into his muscles. Into his ear, he whispers: “I think you’re ready to take my cock, don’t you agree? You probably would have let me fuck you without even a bit of preparation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After all your silence, you have much to say about me,” Anakin remarks, voice shaking and quivering, unable to bite back on his words or to keep his frustration from showing through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And his Master, he just snickers, amused by his little flare of temper and unbearably condescending about it. "You don't even deny it anymore. You've come a long way, my boy." And that's when he takes out his fingers and throws him to the other end of the bathtub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin lands with a heavy thud and the water around him is forced to make room for him, falling over the edge, the awfully loud sound that cuts through the room makes him flinch. As he glides down into the water, he frantically grabs at the edge and pulls himself up, afraid of drowning in water that barely reaches his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he feels stable enough, he darts up his eyes, head still hanging low, and sees his Master advance on him, a predator making his finishing blow, sinking its teeth into the neck of its prey. As his Master pulls him down again, his eyes shine with delight, with triumph, drunk with whatever progress he has made today and all that ardor will be spent on him, he will ride off his high using his body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With one single thrust, his Master drives his cock into him, it’s almost a punch into his gut that takes him out for a moment and Anakin can only cling to the unrelenting steel of the tub’s edge as his Master ravages him. He is neither brutal nor does he thrust mindlessly fast into him, he’s slow but strong, with inhuman precision that makes him whine and keen and lose control. He is being taken apart under his Master’s hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Anakin throws his head back, so overwhelmed by pleasure and pain that his body starts to act on its own,  his Master uses the newly bared skin of his neck to sink his teeth into, dragging a pained groan out of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Long minutes pass and his Master keeps his head averted, forehead resting on his chest as he continues to thrust in and out of him and Anakin falls into despair, an unreasonable fear that rises so quickly that it threatens to gain the upper hand over him. Why are his Master’s eyes not on him? Why won’t his Master watch him bend and break for him? He wants to be listened to, he wants to be looked at, he just wants his Master to see him and nothing else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at me,” he keens with tears in his eyes. “Don’t hide your face from me, I need to see you, I need you to see me. Don’t put barriers between us, at least not tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master tilts his head up and raises an unimpressed brow at him and he appears unbearingly unaffected. “I am looking at you, I am taking all of you in and savouring it on my tongue, but that’s not enough for you, is it? You want me so much that you’re never satisfied. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to, your hunger is bottomless.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin sharply turns his head to the side and bites his lower lip, tightening his grip on the bathtub, but his Master grabs his chin and forces him to face him again. “If you want me to look at you, then you should not turn away from me.” Then he claims his lips in a rough, domineering kiss that makes his toes curl and his hands lose hold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's a short stutter to his Master’s thrusts and after it, he begins to piston in and out of him, angling his hips just so that he hits that sweet spot every time he drives his cock into him. Whatever moan or whimper is coerced out of his mouth, his Master swallows down each one of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the pleasure grows so strong, it becomes agony, a pain that makes him want to draw away, that makes him want to put an end to this torture his Master inflicts on him with every minute that he spends untouched, his engorged and heavy cock an angry red, he glides down into the water, unable to hold himself up, until only his head swims above its surface. The water has lost so much of its warmth that it has become cold and even that coldness cannot cool down the searing heat boiling his insides and burning his skin from the inside out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, let me touch myself,” he says, a high keen that slips from between his lips after he has broken off their kiss. “Please, put me out of my misery, let me finish, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to come so badly, you’ll need to do so with my cock alone. Take all the pleasure you can take from it and allow yourself to fall over that edge. I know you can do it, my dear boy, so make me proud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite his words, his Master touches his stretched, taut rim, feeling along his hole, and slowly slides a finger alongside his thick length, pressing down hard on his prostate. Right at that instance, Anakin feels his body convulse, muscles tensing up so much that only his Master is keeping him from drowning under the water. Mindlessly, he buries his fingers in his Master’s ass and pulls him even deeper into himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so close, Anakin,” his Master whispers into his ear. “So close, don’t fight it, give yourself over to your pleasure, just give in to me, don’t resist it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But if this is over, his Master will be gone too, he will leave, he always does, Anakin has learned this lesson over and over again. When his Master is gone, his hunger will return to him and feed into the gnawing void residing in his body, driving out everything else. His Master will leave and he’ll be all alone again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These thoughts draw a sob out of him and Anakin can only wrap his arms around his Master, pulling him as close to himself as possible. “Stay with me, just this once, don’t leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Master strokes his hair and shushes him. With a kiss to his temple, he says: “Fine, this time, I’ll stay the night and not a minute longer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with these words, Anakin closes his eyes and relaxes into the bath, letting it all loose as release finally graces him and puts him out of his misery. “Just stay with me, Obi-Wan,” he repeats, voice soft and weak from the afterglow as he gazes into the yellow of his eyes, thinking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>just love me enough to stay. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The rain falls in a constant stream, so heavy and fast that it stings, but it’s nothing compared to the cold wind that whips around him, cutting into his exposed skin, and the thunder disrupting the night sky with its incessant lighting. He’s way too far away from the hideout to have any real chance to survive this storm, he knows that and he also knows that it’s useless to continue his search. His mind knows all of this, but, oh, Force, his heart, it wants what it wants without giving a damn about the consequences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And waking up to an empty bed, to an abandoned home, waking up to the realization that despite knowing better, he had still allowed himself to hope that this time, it would find a different end, it has robbed his lungs of its air, taken the blood out of his heart and forced his stomach to clench around nothing at all. How can he not risk his life looking for the only relief to this sickness?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin wants to shout, he wants to scream and let all this crippling pain out, but if he loses that too, what will he even have left? It’s better he clings to it, he knows this pain will not leave him, it will stay with him and offer him company in his loneliness, it will help him bridge the time it will take to find him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until then, he’ll be nothing but a dog looking for trails of its Master, hungry and half famished, eager and greedy to fill himself with something that will only leave him with a much stronger hunger, with a need cut sharp and fevered with its despair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suppressing the shivers that want to run over his skin, he takes the next step forward, feet drenched in mud and clothes heavy with rain. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Coherency and all that</p></blockquote></div></div>
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